by Heather Ash

The mitote can be compared to a huge marketplace where thousands of people are talking at the same time, and nobody understands each other. This is the condition of the human mind - a big mitote, and with that big mitote we cannot see what we really are. In India they call the mitote maya, which means illusion. It is the personality's notion of "I am." We cannot see who we truly are; we cannot see that we are not free.

The programming in the mind - all of those agreements we have made - are not necessarily compatible with each other. Every agreement is like a separate living being with its own personality. All these little living beings create inner conflict because they are alive and they each have a voice. There are conflicting agreements that go against other agreements and on and on until it becomes a big war in the mind. The mitote is the reason humans hardly know what they want, how they want it, or when they want it. They don't agree with themselves because there are parts of the mind that want one thing, and other parts that want exactly the opposite. Only by making an inventory of our agreements will we uncover all of the conflicts in the mind and eventually make order out of the chaos of the mitote.

--from The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz

The mitote book is a place for us to write out the chaos in our mind. For the Toltec, taking a inventory of our agreements is an important step toward personal freedom.

All the conflicts in the mind are often hidden from our conscious self. We may see the results of these agreements in our lives, but we do not realize how many voices and agreements we actually carry until we begin to catalog them. By writing out our own mitote, we begin to clearly hear the distinct voices of the judge and the victim. We begin to see the rules in our book of law. And we uncover the conflicts these different voices have created.

Creating a mitote book for yourself is an act of power, an act of courage. The mitote book exposes the unconscious voices of the victim and judge. In our often quick paced lives, we do not catch the agreements we base our decisions on, because they are hidden from view. We do not take the time to watch them arise and affect our choices and actions. Working with a mitote book captures the voices of our agreements, so we can then make a conscious decision to keep or reject them.

As we practice the four agreements, we can use three steps to support our healing: Truth, Forgiveness, and Love. The truth means peering into the lies that we tell ourselves day after day about who we are. The truth is the scalpel that opens our wounds and gives us a chance to heal them. When we are impeccable with our word, we are using that scalpel of truth. We cut through our own lies and speak who we truly are, not who we wish we were or who we think others would like us to be. We refrain from gossiping about ourselves with others.

The mitote book is a step towards impeccability because it allows us to bare the truth of our lies without involving other people. We may have spent years hoping no one would notice our lies, our self-judgment, and our victimization. In our desire to be rid of these things, we pretend to be who we are not when we are with others. One way to stop this cycle is to speak the truth through our mitote book about our own lies. By revealing the truth of our mitote, we can then begin to forgive ourselves and those who "hurt" us.

When you begin your mitote book, your intent must be very strong to use it as a tool of healing. Your judge would love to use it to punish you more, and the victim wants to feel sorry for itself. Your whole life your habit has been to judge and to play victim. We need to guard from letting the judge punish us because we are judging. And we need make space to let the victim reveal itself without the judge pointing a finger at how awful we are to have so a huge victim.

When we expose the judge and victim's thoughts with intent to heal, our old agreements begin to dissolve. We see how ridiculous some of them are. We see how others cause us much pain. We see how incredibly repetitive those voices are.

To begin your own mitote book, use a blank journal. Keep the mitote book separate from any other writing you do. Pick a journal that attracts you. Since rituals are powerful to mark transitions, create your own ritual to begin your mitote book. Light a candle and send yourself love. Honor your courage in beginning an inventory.

On the first page, write your intent for your mitote book. What do you want to dedicate your mitote book to? Let this be a form of prayer. For example:
This mitote book is to help me see my parasite clearly.
I dedicate this mitote book to my own transformation and healing.
May this mitote book help me to stop feeling I'm not good enough.

Each time you open your mitote book, re-read your intent. Close your eyes and imagine living this intent. Know that by writing in your mitote book you are uncovering the obstacles to your intent. It may not always be easy to see the lies you are telling yourself, but do not be discouraged. Keep your eyes on your intent, knowing that the truth precedes forgiveness and healing.

Your mitote book is for your eyes only. Do not show it to another person. In this way you can be absolutely honest with yourself. Some of your answers may surprise you or make no sense. Remember that your mitote is made of many conflicting beliefs, and often fragments of beliefs from your parents, teachers, brothers and sisters. Many times what you write will not make logical sense. You may find it repetitive. You may judge the people who taught you. Just keep writing.

The following are guidelines for creating your own inventory: Begin by exposing the judgments you have about other people, starting with your family, and then moving on to friends, intimate and work relationships, strangers, and finally to yourself. Once you have shined the light on the judge, turn your awareness to the victim, seeing how you perceive others and yourself as victims.

In your mitote book write each topic below and the related person’s name at the top of a page, followed by four judgments. Give each person their own page or pages, so you can go back later if you want to go deeper with this exercise. Always write down the first image or answer that comes in to your mind. Do not let the judge edit your words. You are going in to reveal your mitote, not make yourself look good. Feel free to expand on any area, or add questions of your own.

For example, start with the judge. List four ways you have judged any of the following, now or in the past:

• Your mother
• Your father
• Your brothers and sisters
• Your teachers
• Your friends
• Your first significant relationship
• Your current intimate relationship
• Your children
• Your boss
• Your coworkers

Then

• List four ways you judge strangers.
• List four ways you judge yourself.

When you have completed your list, go back through each judgment and look for the threads between them by doing the following:

• Ask yourself, "Which judgments does my judge use over and over again?"
• Investigate, "What do my judgments show about my book of law?" Extrapolate from your judgments four possible laws or agreements you unconsciously hold.
• Pick one of your well-used judgments and write it on a blank page in your mitote book. Without stopping, write for the entire page whatever words come into your mind. What agreements does this reflect?
• Look carefully at how you judge yourself and how you judge other people. Notice that every judgment you have toward other people is a judgment you have of yourself—either from actions that you take, or ways that you treat yourself.